Many things have happened to me in the past six months - the best of which is my "pregnancy."
I still could not explain the joy I felt when I first learned that we're having a baby - our first! It felt so glorious - as if nothing else could make me happier. Believe me, if I only had enough money, I could have thrown a party for the whole neighborhood. The baby came as planned - perfect timing! Thank God!
Yet, "fear" have visited me a lot of times during these past months.
At first, I feared of what they call "morning sickness!" Thank God I never experienced it. I never even had unreasonable cravings that would make Roem, my husband, look for something to pacify me even in the middle of the night, just like other husbands do.
When I was first rushed to the hospital due to difficulty of breathing, I had my first reason to be afraid. It happened during the third month of my pregnancy. I was then diagnosed of "infection" that made me file for a sick leave.
My second taste of discomfort happened three weeks after I got out of the hospital. I was hiking, on the way to school, with a fellow teacher when suddenly I lost my vision and began grasping for air. That made me panic! The nearest hospital was one-and-a-half-hour-drive away! Thank God I was able to recover after an hour of rest.
Since then I've had a few attacks of breathing difficulty; and every time I'm in that situation, tears would keep falling while I think of my baby's safety. What if I'd lost the baby? No, I couldn't bear that!
And when I saw spots of blood in my undies last October 31, I was in panic! "Jesus!," was I all I could mutter. I kept praying, "Lord, please save our baby," as they rushed me to the hospital. I was overcome with so much fear, even when my husband kept on assuring me that God will not leave us alone, that He would save our baby. I just couldn't help it; I felt so helpless.
But God had proven His faithfulness to me one more time when I heard the doctor say that our baby is safe. Nothing more mattered to me that night but the safety of the baby in my womb. I prayed, "God, you have given this baby to us as a gift; please let the baby live so that he could be of service to You as he grows up."
Again, I am on sick leave. I have anemia, caused by pregnancy, and my blood count is to be monitored every two weeks until I give birth. I've been given lots of medicine to make sure that my hemoglobin count would be normal for me to give birth safely. I need to rest to prevent premature labor.
I still get visits from "fear," but it's no longer welcome. I have a GOD who is GREATER than my greatest fears. He is faithful and I know He'll never leave me and my baby. I know that He, too, is very excited for our precious baby to get his first glimpse of God's goodness. I know that He's already eager to hear our baby's first "Hallelujah!"
Yet, "fear" have visited me a lot of times during these past months.
At first, I feared of what they call "morning sickness!" Thank God I never experienced it. I never even had unreasonable cravings that would make Roem, my husband, look for something to pacify me even in the middle of the night, just like other husbands do.
When I was first rushed to the hospital due to difficulty of breathing, I had my first reason to be afraid. It happened during the third month of my pregnancy. I was then diagnosed of "infection" that made me file for a sick leave.
My second taste of discomfort happened three weeks after I got out of the hospital. I was hiking, on the way to school, with a fellow teacher when suddenly I lost my vision and began grasping for air. That made me panic! The nearest hospital was one-and-a-half-hour-drive away! Thank God I was able to recover after an hour of rest.
Since then I've had a few attacks of breathing difficulty; and every time I'm in that situation, tears would keep falling while I think of my baby's safety. What if I'd lost the baby? No, I couldn't bear that!
And when I saw spots of blood in my undies last October 31, I was in panic! "Jesus!," was I all I could mutter. I kept praying, "Lord, please save our baby," as they rushed me to the hospital. I was overcome with so much fear, even when my husband kept on assuring me that God will not leave us alone, that He would save our baby. I just couldn't help it; I felt so helpless.
But God had proven His faithfulness to me one more time when I heard the doctor say that our baby is safe. Nothing more mattered to me that night but the safety of the baby in my womb. I prayed, "God, you have given this baby to us as a gift; please let the baby live so that he could be of service to You as he grows up."
Again, I am on sick leave. I have anemia, caused by pregnancy, and my blood count is to be monitored every two weeks until I give birth. I've been given lots of medicine to make sure that my hemoglobin count would be normal for me to give birth safely. I need to rest to prevent premature labor.
I still get visits from "fear," but it's no longer welcome. I have a GOD who is GREATER than my greatest fears. He is faithful and I know He'll never leave me and my baby. I know that He, too, is very excited for our precious baby to get his first glimpse of God's goodness. I know that He's already eager to hear our baby's first "Hallelujah!"
